May 20, 2010

Observations and Explanations

I deleted my Twitter page, why? I never used it. I thought I would but it's more of a tool that people with internet on their phone use. I don't have the time to keep running back to my computer and log on to the internet because I have Dial-up, Gasp -seriously? Yes!, just to tell you where i'm currently drinking tea. Like you wanted to know in the first place...oh, you did? crap.

Laugh, sorry I get a tad bit snarky after mid-night. I also get a wee bit crazy when I haven't had enough sleep. Quite the opposite of my boyfriend who gets irritable, I get super bubbly hyper...but if i'm hungry I get mean.

I am currently deleting my tumblr blogs. You didn't know I had them..well they were a secret. Actually a huge secret where I blogged about things that I couldn't say to peoples faces... yeah...cough.

Ever start something because all your friends did but realize slowly in that you really don't care about it, so you are left attending to it like a chia-pet. hoping no one notices that nothing leafy has grown yet.

I love blogging, it's my way to vocally, wrong word, digitally share what I like. And I like a lot of things...I also enjoy sharing and sometimes your friends and family don't necessarily like all the things you do. Or you feel lonely and you don't want to feel that way anymore so you create a blog and hope someone will communicate with you.

Have you ever held back when meeting someone for the first time, don't mention your religious following or lack there of or remembering not to curse. I do. But lately i've been thinking how wrong I am to do so. I'm being a chameleon. I'm morphing into a neutral image of my self so I won't run people off.

Truthfully, in all seriousness:

I don't like coffee and I think starbucks is evil (though I do like their new commercial)

I like rock just as much as I like Folk


I hate MTV and VH1. what happened to the MUSIC!?!?

I am paranoid as shit and I hate it, but sometimes I think it saves me.

I'm not Christian or anything, truthfully I DON'T KNOW what I believe because I don't know what's real and what fantasy. I don't know if we will turn into worm chow or go to heaven or turn into cows I DON'T KNOW. I hate it when overly religious people judge me. "You're going to hell because your parents divorced. You're going to hell because you wear pants, or don't believe in this book." SHUT THE FUCK UP.

I hate the way I look, I could literally verbally destroy myself. But I don't know why. Maybe it's not just about how I look but because i'm not being the best ME I know I could be. Maybe I hate the fat because I know it's bad fat and not good fat. There's good fat? YES, yes there is. Having Chocolate shakes with your best buddy is good fat. Eating a whole bag of chips by your self in one day is bad my current opinion

Sometimes when I can't figure things out I'll talk to myself in the third person because usually I can help other people with their problems just not my own so looking at it as someone else's problem helps.

I think i'm going to do my "go a week with out the internet" this week starting Sunday. I'll have a few "scheduled posts" that will show up like Tune Tuesday and what not but i'll be back in a week starting Sunday. This could either be a really great thing or a complete wreck which would end with me in the corner muttering something about needing "weheartit"....who knows

Sorry this was an EXCRUCIATINGLY long post...i'll try to refrain from doing that again.


  1. Oh, I'm going a week without internet, too! But not by choice... I'm visit my grandparents. I didn't think of scheduled posts, that's a great idea!

  2. I think we have to be honest, if not with others then at least with ourselves completely. In June I also intend to cut down blogging and concentrate on my WIP. Like you, I don't know how it will end...:):)

  3. I can relate to so much of this. Have a good break come back soon

  4. It's good to get stuff out in the open sometimes, so don't apologise for the long post!
    I love blogging too, but like you have never gotten into the whole twitter thing! I don't really understand the point of it..
    And good for you for saying "Shut the fuck up!" to boring narrowminded wet blankets. You don't have to apologise for who you are, and being without religion is a healthy thing methinks.
    I wish you didn't hate your looks though :( You are so pretty!!!! I guess it's hard to see ourselves in the same way others see us. I feel the same about myself a fair bit too. I think it's because we are so used to ourselves, y'know? We see our reflections every day, and it gets boring! i think that's why i change my hair so often! It makes me feel more interesting to look at! I'm already feeling like i need a makeover or something...i feel kinda daggy and frumpy lately- very "mumsy" if ya know what i mean.Want new clothes! Sigh.
    Aaaanyway, enjoy your blog break! Hopefully you will return refreshed!

  5. Thanks everybody seriously I love you all and i have a few scheduled posts that will pop up but I'll be back in a week hopefully re-energized and full of ideas!!

  6. I think Christians who think divorce or whatever-else is bad are people who've never been in the situation where sometimes that's the only thing you can do, and seriously people, God doesn't WANT you to stay in bad situations. I'm a Christian but, weirdly enough, I've realized that a lot of Christians believe a lot of different things, so I've found out that I really just have to not care what others think. Like I used to think being a feminist was a sin, but now I'm kind of proud of being one. Or some of 'em think me wanting to be an actress and going to Hollywood is bad, and I just have to laugh because seriously, it's ridiculous how narrow-minded people can be. It's just silly. As long as I know that I'm doing what I believe to be right, screw everyone who disagrees or judges me. And I'm thankful for finding the people--some Christians, some not--who do support me and believe in me and respect me.

    heh that got a little rant-ish. but I've been thinking lots about that kind of thing lately.

  7. I have to say...I really love your definition of bad fat vs. good fat.

  8. Great post! I'm paranoid too, and I'm glad you think Starbucks is evil (I used to work there, it IS evil). I know the feeling of keeping up with internet things like a chore, I used to have about 10 different things to check every time I came online...pause for me to scream you're on DIAL UP??? ...pause over, at times blogging seems like a chore too, but when that happens I just take a break and come back refreshed. I never delete blogs when I'm sick of them, just make them private - important memories!

    Week without internet sounds hard...maybe you should work up from 2 days? ;)