April 24, 2010

Options Open

I was watching a discovery channel showing about sex and relationships. One of the couples that they interviewed had a very different type of relationship than what normal couples do. They were not legally married but had "committed" to each other in a way. They had a system where one night a week the guy would bring a girl home to have sex with and then another night the girl would bring a guy home. There were a few rules they had to follow like you can't cuddle, that person could not spend the night, it had to purely be about sex.

What do you think? Are humans meant to be monogamous? Most marriages end in divorce, most people cheat at least once in there lives. Maybe we shouldn't just set our selfs to one person or maybe be more open to the fact that we might every now and again want to try something new? Maybe society has created an image for us that isn't what we are supposed to be?

I don't think cheating is okay (going behind someones back). I think that this particular couple had a problem and found a way to fix it. And I know everyones eye wonders but the question is do you act on that or not... look but no touch. I think if both parties are wanting something and agree to it..then it's not a problem but if the other person is not okay with it, it's a problem.


  1. My boyfriend has friends who had a three way relationship. Guy 1 and Girl 1 started dating. Then, Girl 2 came along, and they invited her in to join the festivities. I think they were all in a committed relationship for well over a year. And then Girl 1 got jealous and Guy 1 broke up with her and had a relationship with just Girls 2.

    I certainly won't judge someone who is in an open relationship. But, I don't think it's for me. I think it would make me too self conscious. What if their birth control failed? What if I'm not as good in bed as she is? I don't think an open relationship is for a lot of people either.

  2. Jackie: Yeah, I think there are a lot of "problems" that can arise from an open relationship but no I wouldn't judge them negativity either. I think as long as everyone involved is happy and know what's going on then it's okay. I believe that society does look down on open relationships and that if it was more open then maybe people would be straight up front than cheat behind their backs...maybe not.. who knows?

  3. I just am unsure if I could share. That would be hard. But I think that working things out and finding a solution is definitely the best option and if that's what works for a couple bringing home dates with the approval of their partner then more power to them

  4. Sounds really too much like free love that wasn't all that free after awhile. Then you have friends with benefits. It can just can be crazy. You should never go waaaaay out of your comfort zone.

  5. I actually watched something very similar recently! It certainly was very thought provoking. I really do think that not all humans are capable of monogomy...and that is not a bad thing as long as they are honest about it. Open relationships are just a way for people who are honest about not wanting monogomy to enjoy each others company but also have free and open sex lives. I see nothing wrong with it as long as everybody in the relationship is happy, and continue being honest.
    I've actually discussed and considered an open relationship before, in a past relationship i was in. In the end we didn't go through with it, for various reasons. When i really thought about it, even though it might've been exciting from a sexual point of view, it was entirely another matter emotionally. I probably have too many insecurities to have a successful open relationship! I think i would get too jealous..like, what if my partner actually started to become closer to his other girlfriend, and decided to ditch me and go off with her instead? (i've heard of that happening!). I think the couple you mentioned had the right idea, with the rules- so then it would remain purely physical. I'm not sure i could do it...but then I've never tried. Who knows!
    It certainly brings up a lot of questions in my mind about human nature! It is so true- we ALL look from time to time, but acting on an attraction is a different thing.And SHOULD we just give in to our desires? After all, I would love to eat every chocolate that i see, but obviously if i acted on that, i would be a fat blob by now!
    Hmmm. The whole subject makes me very confused!
    When it comes down to it, i think the only way i could be in an open relationship would be if i wasn't too emotionally attatched to the guy! but then, if that was the case, i probably wouldn't be bothered being in a relationship with him!
    I think i agree with ellie there: just do what YOU are comfortable with- and this is different for different people.