November 11, 2009

A Really Long Personal Post

First I would like to say thanks for not calling me out on the last post. I was numbering and went from 5 to 8...I have NO idea why hahaha

Anywho It's time for the nitty-gritty truth of what's going on right now.

I am about to graduate in May with my Associates of Art degree. The college I am at right now is a two year, so I always knew I would have to chose a different one to get my bachelors. I had originally thought I would go to the other college in the city my two year college is in. It's a 45minute-1 hour drive away that I do every other day, so I'm use to it.

Well I found out rather recently, about a month ago, that they don't offer bachelor degrees in Photography at that university. This is a big problem I need to carefully figure out, because this will determine what I do with my life. (Yeah no pressure)

I could continue to the university in the same city but change to an art degree and get a teacher's certificate in art, become an art teacher. I could go to a college close to Knoxville but I would have to rent an apartment and I don't have that money nor do I think I could find a stable job in this time frame. I found two out of state colleges but I would not receive the financial aid I receive now. It's been a trying time on my emotions.

When ever my boyfriend and I are asked about our majors and he says Criminal Justice people will look in awe and comment about how they always thought the FBI was cool or how they have a cousin in law enforcement. When it gets to me though they always say either of the two "I didn't know you could major in that." or "Do you have a back-up?" Jerks.

And go figure yesterday I get a call from The Art Institute and Savannah College of Art and Design. I had applied to SCAD before I graduated high school. That was the only college I wanted to go to. I actually paid for a hotel myself just to go up there and get my portfolio looked at. I was determined. I get there and they liked my photos, The photography teacher said I was exactly what they were looking for.

I felt like everything was coming into place. I applied, sent in the application fees, and my portfolio because I was guaranteed a scholarship. At least that's what I was told. I received two letters in the mail. I couldn't open them at first for fear of not being accepted. This is the top art college in the south and second in the united states. I went with my boyfriend to the Chinese restaurant and sat in the parking lot. I slowly opened the letter and I read it once...twice..five times to be sure. I was accepted. It was true I was good enough to get in. I could get out of this small town and be something, experience things, learn.

(They told me that I couldn't come back after 2 years, they wouldn't accept me until I got my bachelor's then I could come back and get my masters, but I suppose now with the economy the way it is they are willing to make the exception but I still can't afford you guys, sorry.)

Then I opened the second only to see that I would only be given $4,000. The tuition is 25,000-30,000. Ha, are you serious? My dad is on disability, we make maybe $13,000 a year. So we called and begged...yes I begged, I was practically on my knees but on the phone so they didn't see. By the end I had only racked up maybe 14,000. It still wasn't enough. I had to give up my dream of going there. I tried at AI but they were worse. Their tuition was higher and they didn't even have dorms. And what they were willing to give me was a lot less.

So I ended up going back to the community college, with my tail between my legs literally the day before classes started. By the way the community college I go to, the tuition is $2,500 for 4 classes.

At this point I think I know what it's going to come down too, I just want to hold onto the thought of being a photographer a little bit longer. I don't want to give up my dreams of photography. I think I just can't make it my vocation. I'm going to go stuff my face with snack foods...sour-cream and onion chips to be precise.

If you read this whole thing I give you a virtual hug!


  1. I give you a virtual hug!
    I am really sorry with whats being going on.

    You are a very very talented lady, don't let money get in the way of your dream!!!

  2. Ohw steph. what lamery. [and i agree with you on the "do you have a backup?" people. jerks.] keep us posted on how the figuring-out process is going...


  3. I really hope things work out for you! Don't give up though, your dreams will come true eventually, let me know how things go. Good luck, and you are an amazing photographer. You are extremely talented and people will recognise this talent and thats what matters most.

  4. Don't give up on your dream!!! I know there are obstacles right now, but if you have the passion you will find other ways to pursue it.
    Chin up and good luck with everything that takes you on your journey to your dream.

  5. Thanks, seriously. I will keep you all posted on how this works out. I just needed to get that off my chest. thanks!!

  6. I second that *jerks* part, for sure. You can also think though (and find peace of mind in) - if you decided to teach, you still have the opportunity to be around photography and the creative field. I'll be 30 in less than a month and I have always been passionate about photography but I am just now getting to the level of even thinking my photos are decent. I was too nervous to even apply to SCAD (let alone the fact that I either would've never been able to afford it and I so love Savannah). Instead I went to a smaller college in Beaufort, SC (less than an hour from SAV). Got my Bachelors - starting working and created a life for me and only now am I really able to focus on photography and try to make my place in that little part of life. Lots of choices, but you'll figure it out and I'm sure it'll be the best decision ever!