A Really Long Personal Post

First I would like to say thanks for not calling me out on the last post. I was numbering and went from 5 to 8...I have NO idea why hahaha

Anywho It's time for the nitty-gritty truth of what's going on right now.

I am about to graduate in May with my Associates of Art degree. The college I am at right now is a two year, so I always knew I would have to chose a different one to get my bachelors. I had originally thought I would go to the other college in the city my two year college is in. It's a 45minute-1 hour drive away that I do every other day, so I'm use to it.

Well I found out rather recently, about a month ago, that they don't offer bachelor degrees in Photography at that university. This is a big problem I need to carefully figure out, because this will determine what I do with my life. (Yeah no pressure)

I could continue to the university in the same city but change to an art degree and get a teacher's certificate in art, become an art teacher. I could go to a college close to Knoxville but I would have to rent an apartment and I don't have that money nor do I think I could find a stable job in this time frame. I found two out of state colleges but I would not receive the financial aid I receive now. It's been a trying time on my emotions.

When ever my boyfriend and I are asked about our majors and he says Criminal Justice people will look in awe and comment about how they always thought the FBI was cool or how they have a cousin in law enforcement. When it gets to me though they always say either of the two "I didn't know you could major in that." or "Do you have a back-up?" Jerks.

And go figure yesterday I get a call from The Art Institute and Savannah College of Art and Design. I had applied to SCAD before I graduated high school. That was the only college I wanted to go to. I actually paid for a hotel myself just to go up there and get my portfolio looked at. I was determined. I get there and they liked my photos, The photography teacher said I was exactly what they were looking for.

I felt like everything was coming into place. I applied, sent in the application fees, and my portfolio because I was guaranteed a scholarship. At least that's what I was told. I received two letters in the mail. I couldn't open them at first for fear of not being accepted. This is the top art college in the south and second in the united states. I went with my boyfriend to the Chinese restaurant and sat in the parking lot. I slowly opened the letter and I read it once...twice..five times to be sure. I was accepted. It was true I was good enough to get in. I could get out of this small town and be something, experience things, learn.

(They told me that I couldn't come back after 2 years, they wouldn't accept me until I got my bachelor's then I could come back and get my masters, but I suppose now with the economy the way it is they are willing to make the exception but I still can't afford you guys, sorry.)

Then I opened the second only to see that I would only be given $4,000. The tuition is 25,000-30,000. Ha, are you serious? My dad is on disability, we make maybe $13,000 a year. So we called and begged...yes I begged, I was practically on my knees but on the phone so they didn't see. By the end I had only racked up maybe 14,000. It still wasn't enough. I had to give up my dream of going there. I tried at AI but they were worse. Their tuition was higher and they didn't even have dorms. And what they were willing to give me was a lot less.

So I ended up going back to the community college, with my tail between my legs literally the day before classes started. By the way the community college I go to, the tuition is $2,500 for 4 classes.

At this point I think I know what it's going to come down too, I just want to hold onto the thought of being a photographer a little bit longer. I don't want to give up my dreams of photography. I think I just can't make it my vocation. I'm going to go stuff my face with snack foods...sour-cream and onion chips to be precise.

If you read this whole thing I give you a virtual hug!